No one has time for drama, especially not me!


Dear darling readers, it’s been a couple of weeks filled with crap and drama. The most annoying of which is Fixitguy’s family. His sister and father are such selfish, self-serving asshats that it literally defies my ability to process it. I became my brother-in-law’s guardian last year and Asshat father-in-law decided to fight me on it. On the grounds that I’m weird and different and I’m proud of it. Wow. He is ridiculous and I’m glad the judge had the good sense to shut him down.

Today it’s an entirely new drama. Because of IdiotLawyer’s advice my house is now in foreclosure and apparently a notice was in the paper. AFIL has nothing else to do but read the paper. I believe he’s one of their 25 subscribers. So he and SIL commiserate and SIL starts texting BonusDaughters1&2 to find out why I’m not taking care of Fixitguy’s business. They tell her it’s taken care of. Next thing I know she is texting another friend saying her dad is getting a lawyer to “take the house away”. I have no idea what he is thinking or how he thinks he can accomplish this. But I told SIL that both of them need to mind their own fucking business. She replies that it was in the paper and so it’s everyone’s business. I point out that she lives in New Mexico, so still not hers. I am just so exhausted of the take take take from this family. I am taking care of the brother/son that neither of them can be bothered with. AFIL calls FIL periodically to ask why there is no headstone on Fixitguy or his mother. I just feel like they should have called and asked if I needed help rather than commiserating with each other and stirring up shit. I mean, really. So now I just have this cartoon in my head of vultures in Christian suits banging each other over their asshat heads with bibles. AFIL is such a great Christian and knows the only true way to believe, but this is how he behaves toward his daughter in law who stepped in to help out with his insane child. Yep, dear readers, the insanity runs deep and hard in that family. It is enough to make me want to go live in a mildly furnished cave with cable and space for a craft business, so if you hear of anything, let me know.

Hypocrisy has never been on my list of things that I entertain easily and the hypocrisy that these two people represent makes me furious. The simple answer is that they do not have their own lives and must create drama in other people’s lives. It makes them feel important and accomplished. I normally just shake my head, but the stressors were great yesterday and my tolerance for them was non-existent. I am locked in an almost impossible situation and these two step right up as if on cue to add to the pile. The simple answer is for AFIL to write a check to help cover some of this stuff. But it’s WAY better to point out everyone’s fault in not taking care of these things and WAY easier than actually pretending he is a decent human being for five minutes. That is just too much to bear. I am glad that I have cut certain people out of my life since Fixitguy’s death.

Of course, our 15th anniversary would have been on Sunday the 5th. This fills me with overwhelming sadness. It is anniversary number 2. Which seems so crazy to me. Wee Geek and I were talking about missing him last night. It is just so odd to have this 6 foot 2 hole inside of me that only he can fill. I am forever asked about dating and my reply is always, “Boyfriend? God no. How do you take care of them? Do you have to feed them? Water them? Take them for walks? That sounds like way more responsibility than I am equipped to handle in my current state. Sorry. No.”

I am reading at a funeral today. My dear UFOconspiracybuddy asked me to read a poem at his mom’s funeral. So I’m off to do that today. Maybe some sort of clarity will magically jump into my head and make me feel more kindly toward the idiots in my life. I doubt it, but a girl can dream.

It’s the End of the World as we know it and other Autistic New Year Adventures


So here we sit on the very brink of a new year. Because the Best Buy guy failed to plan we have been driving around Dipshitville looking for shit to do. Let me tell you exactly how boring small town America is when most of the bars have closed because no one has a freaking job…or did you guess?

So I have been devoting some time thinking about this year. Christmas was a bust for everyone I think. Wee geek was so excited to go to my family’s and it was nothing close to what he remembered. My drug addict step mother was more annoying than usual, but possibly because tensions were already riding in the that strange place of uncertainty that could suddenly spiral desperately out if control and holds the promise of uncertain oblivion. The bright spot if that little spires being the white elephant gift swap in which my drug addict step mother acquired my coconut monkey head that we got at the Don Jo Restaurant in Hawaii. She was pissed! It was lovely. Now all boring or tension relief needing conversations are punctuated with “And Cheryl got the monkey head” also followed with several high fives.

The little get together at my on laws fared little better. I was once again the bitch and bad guy in residence because the Best Buy forgot purposefully to talk to his daughter about her dog and my allergies. It absolutely amazes me at the sheer level of inconsideration that his kids are allowed to show on a regular basis. We had to have the argument about how my allergy wasn’t just going to go away because they say the dog is hypo allergenic and how even if I’m the only one who has a problem it is still a problem. The Best Buy guy astounds me in his willingness to piss me off on a more than regular basis and his unwillingness to make a daughter upset. This has become a way less than endearing trait on him.

So having Wee Geek home over Christmas was wonderful. In all the insanity of getting things done for him there had been no chill out hang out time and that was awesome. I enjoyed just having him home with no agenda other than enjoying him. I think the Best Buy guy is having some adjustment issues. He did give Wee Geek $40 and that was nothing short of amazing.

In reflecting in this last year and groping for highlights outside of my new found addiction to the show “Hoarders”, I reach back to my son contacting me and our relationship being mostly intact and my story getting published. It doesn’t seem like very much athirst glance, but it was actually all my dreams coming true in just a few short weeks.  Of course, the planning of the Best Buy guys retirement, which he is desperately hoping is my writing. We’ll see how that pans out for him.

As I sit hear pondering what 2012 might bring, I have many hopes. I am busily planning out the finishing of the Boller County book and rethinking “The Land of the Not Quite Right”. Anxious to get back to “The Mothman Chronicles” and finish it up. It feels as if it somehow got lost in NaNo and I hope to get it back on track.

2012 is currently looking bright enough for shades. We shall see what happens. It is now only 8 minutes away and I have a wonderful buzz happening with a little surprise for the Best Buy guy for when we get home. I think he’ll be pleasantly ingratiated.

And in case I forgot which I’m sure I did. Happy New Year. Go out and slay a dragon and make a dream come true.