Asperger’s and Common Sense Are Not Synonymous


Some of you who are long time readers may know about Wee Geek’s little run in with the law last year. In November, when it came time to reinstate his license, I got on line and discovered that it could be paid online but needed to have a checking account so I got online and paid the reinstatement fee that he owed. Luckily, it was very small. After it was paid, I told Wee Geek that he needed to go and get a new license in Kentucky since he now lives there. Evidently it slipped his brain and mom didn’t stay on top of it, thinking that Wee Geek knew what he needed to do. Oooops…so needless to say his state ID expired on his birthday.

Another wonderful part of living on the spectrum is that we often need visual cues to get things done, especially to stay on top of annoying paperwork stuff. The nice thing about owning vehicles is that once a year they send you a nice reminder in the mail to renew your plates. If they have the right address for you. Apparently, they did not in the case of Wee Geek and when he was pulled over yesterday morning, he had expired plates. And no valid proof of license. And no proof of insurance. Sigh.

In the course of the stop, he evidently was acting weird. Of course, because he works third shift and he’s exhausted with a particularly yucky case of insomnia this week. So the officer gave him a field sobriety test. Luckily, Wee Geek has much more coordination than I do. I have this problem with gravity and air pockets. They fuck with me every time. I guess the officer figured that something was going on with Wee Geek that was odd and the only way that he could figure it out was to get the sobriety test.

I am grateful that the cop was patient with Wee Geek and gave him a citation with a court date. Most first responders have just enough autism training too get themselves in trouble. He at least told Wee Geek that he wasn’t going to touch him during the field sobriety test, but just put his finger really close to his face. If only he hadn’t told Wee Geek that his license could get suspended. Because after he said that, Wee Geek’s brain shut down and went into complete and total freak out mode. He should have told him that it was only if he didn’t get this stuff taken care of.

I spent a half hour on the phone with him getting him calmed down and trying to figure out exactly what the issue was. Although he wasn’t in meltdown, he was in total freak out. Sigh. It’s sometimes hard to stay patient with him when he is in freak out mode. It’s a process of letting him tell the story, freak out, go around it in circles, and then get back on track. It’s a pocess of asking questions and then trying to interpret what the answers mean. It’s a long process no matter how you look at it. I was pretty patient yesterday morning and finally got the story out of him.

I had to instruct him to start calling and finding out what paperwork he needed to get everything done and how much it would cost. He finally agreed and told me he would call me later. I called him several times in the late afternoonn, to no avail. So at 730 he finally answered his phone. He’s paassed out after our call and was just getting up. The other nice side effect to having our senses overwhhelmed, we crash. Not a little crash either. Usually the kind where you could possibly sleep for days. I have confidence that he’ll get up this morning and take care of it. Looks like the International Bank of Mom is still open.

The funny thing is that we all take for granated that these things have to be done. We are grown ups and we do it. Every one of the kids has driven on either an expired license or expired plates. Every one has blamed us for not doing it for them….

In Wee Geek’s case, it just goes to show you that his dad sent him out into the world without a clue as to how to be a grown up at all. He’s basically naked and alone in the ugly cold world. Not a comfortable feeling at all. I’ll bet he never forgets to do this again. Right now, though, he is stuck by his lack of money as well. It sucks to live check to check and he definitely feels the stress of that.

He works so hard to be a good kid and to get through life every day. He just feels like it’s kicking him iin the ass right now and leaving him in a rut. I feel that. I try to make him understand that sometimes, life is very hard work and it does suck. It does make you want to give up. But you have to get up and keep going. Then you drive down the street one day and see a guy riding a bike around town dressed up like a gorilla.