Damn the Mayans and Other Post Apocalyptic Arguments


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Here we are dear readers, in the post Mayan Apocalypse. How’s it treating you? Is it everything you thought it would be? Frankly, I’m disappointed. I thought there would be more zombies. I was also looking forward to not having to deal with the Unemloyed Husband asking me about my New Year’s Resolutions. I’m not a fan of these. I don’t really understand setting a goal at the beginning of the year so that you have an entire year to look forward to screwing it up. I can do that every day. I don’t need a special day for that.
I’m not opposed to goal setting. I have lots of goals. I’ve set a few this last year that have actually been realised. As humans, we need to set goals. We set goals to give ourselvess something to look forward to and something to strive for. I gave up on goals for awhile and it feels pretty good to have them again. One thing about not having goals is that you sit and wait for things to happen to you instead of making things happen for yourself. I’m glad that I’m not doing that anymore. It was hard to break out of my comfort zone and figure out how to be myself. Being myself meant figuring out what my goals were and starting to reach out for them.
The new year always feels like it’s full of promise. This year is full of something, I’m just not sure promise is the word I would pick. I’ve been thinking about what my next step should be. I know what I want to do, but I don’t know how that will happen at this point. I mean, since I haven’t won the lottery or become independently wealthy, yet. When you’re young and dreaming about what your life is going to be, you have no way of imagining how it’s really going to be. I guess that’s a good thing. How many of us would hang out for the main event if we knew what that event was going to be in actuality?
It’s a good thing to have goals and dreams. So in the meantime, we’ve survived the holidays. It was nice to have Wee Geek and his girlfriend home and we even somehow survived the huge Christmas ordeal complete with the pulverised mashed potatoes that we had to replace with store bought made ones. Luckily in our universe of wonderful convenience, those mashed potatoes are better than any we could ever make. Evidently, we aren’t “those people”. You know, the kind that can make mashed potatoes. Nope, not us. I even survived the holidays being sick most of the holidays. It’s a little disappointing that I only had 2 weeks off and I wasted three quarters of it being sick. Those little crumb crunchers should probably be doused in Lysol at least four times a day just for good measure. Sigh. Where is this life leading? It’s exciting in a way not to know. It’s also a little frightening to know that I took a huge leap of faith and I’m more than a little worried about what is going to happen next. In two months, I’m without a job and possibly with huge amounts of free time on my hands to actually get these books out the door. I am looking forward to that. It more than likely won’t work out that way, something will come up to prevent it, but who knows? Maybe that thing will be another step on the path of this insane life that I have lived. I have starting thinking about documenting some of this insane life. I was asked to contribute to another author’s work who is working on about mom’s with Asperger’s. I’m pretty excited about that. One of the reasons is because it makes me start thinking about how I am going to write about the last ten years of my life. It was such a roller coaster ride from hell, but I feel like it’s important to write about it. I’ve just been waiting for it to stop being the festering wound that I was carrying around. It’s starting to feel a little more scabbed over than it used to. It’s starting to feel like I can let it heal a little. After all, I have Wee Geek and he’s doing well. I get to enjoy the wonderful kid with the great sense of humour every single day. I never hate to worry about whether or not he’s okay and have no way of finding out. It still is such a novelty, but all I have to do is pick up my phone and call him. I love to hear him tell me about his day and what he’s feeling. I love to hear what worries him, what he thinks the world brings for him and what his dreams are.
In more strange talks, we’ve talked about him having kids. He worries about it because he doesn’t want to pass on the Asperger’s. In my universe, these sound like the best kids in the universe. This sounds like a nightmare to him. I know he doesn’t get it. When he was growing up, I was figuring out all of my own Asperger’s stuff and living through a nightmare marriage. I was figuring mine out while figuring his out. It was not the best way of doing it. But we did it, and we got through it. We started with a pretty low diagnosis, but the more that I worked with him and found services for him. It was a scary bit of navigation sometimes, but we managed. When I think about how we started and look at where we’ve ended…I’m preetty proud. I try to make him understand that his kids will have him and me to get them through this crazy life. I try to convince him that there is very little chance of him having kids lower on the spectrum but he just says that he doesn’t trust labels. They lie. I guess they do sometimes, but in reality, it’s a life of no guarantees and I think that the right girl might convince him otherwise.
So dear readers, march bravely into this very cold and crazy year. We’ll get through it together. We always do. Now go forth and use your evil powers for good.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sarahnicole8
    Jan 05, 2013 @ 19:36:29

    Happy new year…loved this post and very excited to see what you write about being a mum with Aspergers, and the last decade. I’m abit the same, I feel it’s important to write about, being a mum, and the hard marriages/life of the last decade for me. I’m not on the spectrum, though my son is further down the spectrum than your son, our stories are important and you have a great writing voice. Every time I start writing about it (the last decade) I stall, so far only on my blog it comes out. Goodluck. Exciting.

    Reply

    • autiezombiegirl
      Jan 06, 2013 @ 00:54:24

      We both have very important things to contribute to this story! I am very nervous and excited about this year! I’ve made some very untypical choices fo an Asperger’s person this year. It will be interesting to see what becomes of them and me! Keep going! I have much big faith in you! My boy turns 21 on Tuesday and I am amazed at how far he’s come!

      Reply

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