The Great Cspan Wars and Other Tales of Strife


There have been many wars in our house lately. I know I’m losing them. I’m not stupid enough to think that anything I have to say would ever over rule an ex wife, a kid who shouldn’t be, or a daughter. I suppose the time of all this (cough and sputter) gloriousness os about at its end.

I pride myself for not living under any kind of delusions and for being very honest with myself. I know that I will never rank as high as anyone with blonde hair or who was actually born with the Best Buy Guy’s last name. Nor apparently anyone who he gave his last name no matter how deviously this name was obtained.

The start of this strife was an ex wife’s phone call begging for money. Don’t worry dear reader, that phone number has once again been blocked from our phones. I wouldn’t have minded except for a few minor issues. Number one being that this is not kid’s mother asking for money. I’m sure they make more than we do. It’s insulting. More insulting is the response of the BB Guy in agreeing. This was moment’s after telling me that IF he still had a job in February then maybe we would go do something special for our 10th anniversary. Really? Then don’t send money out the door to a complete stranger. It’s so frustrating. More frustrating when his stupidity rears up and he tells me that we don’t have money together so he can do whatever he wants with his money.

All I can say is WOW! My idiotic moronic ass clown of a spouse has reached a new plateau of stupidity. It’s amazing. More amazing that when I suggested he tell eldest daughter that he had to reduce what he was giving her for the wedding by that amount he agreed that was reasonable. I can’t begin to fathom how fucking stupid this point in my life is. No one wins in this situation. A wedding website has come out as well. Most significantly embarrassing is that we are all pretending to embrace not kid, but still no one knows how to refer to her. I believe she was referred to as “another of my father’s daughters”. Another wow escapes my lips. On the tail of the BB guy telling me he’d give me $100 for Wee Geek’s school to shut me up. See the rampant insanity has taken root!

On the front of Wee Geek I have been on the phone with the lawyer’s office every day for 2 weeks. I don’t know if it’s getting me anywhere, but it certainly is serving to raise my frustration levels beyond nuclear.  School went back this week, but Wee Geek is not there. Still nothing has been resolved. Of course. However, my exes whore lawyer is taking me to court in March to re-evaluate my income. No one addresses the amount of child support I’ve overpaid. No one addresses the ridiculous amount of legal fees that I’m having garnished. No one addresses that my kid is not in school and that his dad is not helping with his living expenses in any way. But by god let’s make sure the whore lawyers get their money. I’m sure this is more about my ex finding out about the book. I’m sure I’m a millionaire now. At least I will be when they are done telling their story.

There seems to be a new judge. I don’t know if this is going to be any better, but I somehow doubt it. It’s never made a difference before. One legal figure in Delaware county is as crooked as the next one.

Note to self don’t divorce the current husband there. It feels like we are barreling toward that direction. All our conversations involve fighting about Cspan lately. I’m sick and tired of fucking Cspan because I realize that all ass clowns in charge are still ass clowns. It doesn’t matter who they say they are affiliated with or what they claim to stand for. They same evil monkeys are pulling the puppet strings and nothing changes because of this. I hate politics. I hate the news. Our tv has been on these inane things every day for weeks. I don’t care what they are promising. It will not change. So tonight the Cspan wars erupted into me being told to shut my fucking mouth and the clicker being thrown across the room. There won’t be any apologies. I’m supposed to start arguing politics and care. I do not. It’s pathetic that 12 years is being reduced to a war over channels on a box. It really boils down to me having to deal with the stressful and awful situations I deal with all day and wanting to come home and just watch nothing. That stupid stuff that doesn’t have to be thought about. It’s nice to not have to solve someone’s problem for five minutes. Silly, I know.

The biggest oddity in my life this week was my Wee Geek turning 20. Who knew? A year ago, I thought I’d never have another birthday with him. BB Guy and I drove over and hung out with old high school friends on Saturday night and then hung out with my mom until Wee Geek decided to show up for birthday lunch. Little did I know that he was waiting for his dad to acknowledge him. He never did. Typical Scott. Wee Geek feels abandoned and angry. I feel angry. It all just sucks lately.

I’m feeling frustrated because I’m not getting any writing done at night. That need to decompress at night is so overwhelming that nothing else can find its way out of my brain. The storyboard is looking gorgeous, however. Even if I can’t find any of the incarnations of the story that I want to work on. I hate the thought of starting over from complete scratch!

I know I’ve been grouchy and bitchy in this posting. I’m sorry. Sometimes you have to vent and obviously I have few chances here in the lovely paradise of the land of the not quite right.

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