Never Underestimate the power of autistic people on a mission


Not many people can understand how overwhelming house cleaning can be for people on the spectrum. But it can be. Since wee geek left home, his room has become a sort of catch all place for stuff in our house. It also is the place where the Best Buy guy dumps things that he doesn’t want to deal with. Especially if they are mine. So, after how ever many years of dumping stuff in there, that room was pretty overwhelming. I spent most of Saturday morning cleaning the sewing/craft room, so it was pretty squared away by the time wee geek came and declared his room worthy of FEMA funding.

Thank goodness that he came. He just started yanking things out of there and throwing things into bins, trash bags, and piles of need to go somewhere, but we don’t know where. This helped to make it a matter of just rearranging the piles of stuff. It took us most of the afternoon and me the rest of Sunday, but it got done. So, the power of two of us together made it a little less overwhelming. I had been in there several times, but it just got to me and I couldn’t get a thing accomplished. It’s just like going into other people’s houses, though. When it’s not your stuff, it’s a lot easier to see what is crap and what is not.

On Sunday morning, I went downstairs to see wee geek sleeping peacefully on the sofa. It was so surreal, seeing him there. And I expect that next week when he’s home with his girlfriend it will be even more surreal. We have talked over more of the yucky stuff about his dad and discovered that we are both pretty pissed off about the same stuff. I think the thing that annoys me the most is that the court has made a long standing policy of letting him get away with doing the least amount of things possible for wee geek. Even when wee geek lived there, I paid more in child support than he ever did and made him pay for himself too telling him that I wasn’t contributing anything. Outrageous!

So, in the midst of doing last minute Christmas stuff, the subject of our uninvited four legged Thanksgiving visitor came up. The complete inconsideration of the incident has made me very upset with both of the supposed adults in the situation. Especially with the Best Buy guy. I do not want this incident to be repeated at Christmas. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I don’t have to put up with things like this. I guess I’m tired of the inconsideration that is often given to me. As if I’m not important to him. This is not the first time that we’ve had these moments of inconsideration. I’m over it. He needs to figure it out.

So, after taking the month of December off and am ready to jummp into some editing at the beginning of the year. So, I am thinking that a zombie story will be out before the summer. I think the ghost story will be out pretty quickly after that. I expect to have the mothman story ready before the end of next year. It seems like such an unbelievable moment, but it’s feeling more attainable, now. Amazing and very surreal, but absolutely attainable.

We saw the new Sherlock Holmes this weekend, too. I was so disappointed. In the first movie, you had these delicious glimpses of how an autistic brain works. In this movie, they almost overdosed you on it. After you’ve seen Sherlock think through every move in a fight before it happens, you don’t need to see it five more times in this movie. There was the one nice little moment of the alone-ness actually sinking in and Sherlock almost touching that his own personality was the root of the issue. There was one more little moment of the crowd overwhelming him during a dance and only being able to pick out little bits that are not useful at all. Showing those moments of trying to filter all of the confusion of sensory input is so wonderfully done. It’s so hard to explain to people that this is how our brains work.

Wee geek and I had a discussion of trying to explain to others different aspects of being on the spectrum. It is very difficult to do. People do not understand thinking in pictures. People do not understand how the patterns in things just pop out. Especially if they can’t see them. Sometimes I feel like I see the patterns and it’s an eternity before anyone else gets them. I am constantly reminded of watching “Alphas” and seeing the main character see electromagnetic and data input. This is what it is like for me when I see the patterns in things.

I am looking forward to the surrealness of Christmas to come. It is the first Christmas with Wee geek back in our lives. I feel the strain with the Best Buy guy as he tries to figure out where his place is again. He acts as if everything has changed. It hasn’t. It’s just been added to. My soul feels complete again. Which is something that I think he wishes he could have done, but he couldn’t. He tried. He just wasn’t that successful. He helped me to forget the hole was there occasionally, but then it would open up again and swallow me whole like a gigantic shark with no ability to guage when it is full. He had no way to deal with the depression inside of me. Now, he cannot always understand the anger inside of me. I feel so stommped upon by a system that should have protected my son and I but instead put him in the arms of an abuser that I had worked so hard to keep him away from.

So, onward we march to the insanity of the season. I’m sure that I will be only partially insane by the time it is all over. But it will be blissfully surreal because of the presence of wee geek.

Book signings and mall people


It’s been a long holiday season. Halloween was busy and Thanksgiving was it’s usual nightmare. The third printing of “Dead Souls” is still hanging about so if you haven’t gotten one, there is still hope for you.

So I’ve had several interesting things happen. I went to see John Elder Robison author of “Look me in the eye” and “Be different” speak in Indy in November. It was awesome. John is a typical Asperger’s guy in a lot of ways, but once he gets to talking, he is extremely full of wonderful personal experience that he truly enjoys sharing.  The very best part of John’s talk was that he was willing to talk to people forever afterward and share all of the pictures from concerts and circuses that he had taken and put on his Ipad.  He also took a copy of “Dead Souls” and read it on the plane back to DC with a tiny Facebook shout out to your favourite autistic zombie girl.

Then there was the general and usual nightmare of Thanksgiving that I barely circumvented by threatening to go to a hotel to write uninterrupted all day if the Best Buy guy didn’t act at least a tiny bit sane. This tactic seems to have worked well I may try it again in the future. Maybe as early as Christmas. Of course I had to laugh when I told my husband I was going to a hotel because of how crazy he acts and he said that the wee geek was invited. Imagine my son was invited for a holiday celebration. Wow! It was almost as if he wouldn’t have been invited to begin with. Alas, the wee geek was at his girlfriend’s for Thanksgiving.

So things went smoothly for a little bit even though we can’t seem to get the asshole ex back to court yo do his part for wee geek. Just like always for him. If he’s not getting anything from it (mainly collecting half my pay check) then he doesn’t want to deal.

So onward we march. I have done two events at our local mall in the past couple of months. So I’ve been people watching quite a bit. It’s interesting. Seems about 80% of the traffic in the mall consists of mall walkers and older people just leaving church. Not much market for zombie books. However we are seeing some efforts to once again nurture our little art community here in dipshitville. At least this time we are seeing some interest in other creative arts not just traditional paint and canvas and jewelry. We’ve had local authors and musicians, too. Which when we are talking about nurturing creative communities we must talk about all creative input, not just what we think of as traditional creativity. Art is so many things and without the wonderful brains of artists, our lives would be very boring indeed.

NaNo is finally over and this year’s 50,000 words proved to be very difficult even with the improvement of having the Scrivener software. I also had 3 complete days of being as sick as a dog that did nothing to help my word count at all. The ideas that I generated about how things were going to go in this new novel definitely evolved and the editing and complete rewriting will really be fantastic I think. It went in a little different direction than I expected, but I’m still excited about the possibilities of it.

Back to mall watching. I know that we all must pay our dues in getting things off the ground, but it sometimes makes me very grouchy. I did technically make my booth rent, but it was very hard to sit still for two days and take that much time out of writing or finishing Christmas up.  I am trying to think if it as getting the AutieZombieGirl brand out there. The Best Buy guy is very confused about the idea of branding in general. I just realize that you must have something to gear the business itself. Hence AZG has been born.

We also had to run a new car down to the wee geek on Thursday. His blew up and we bought a new one from my in laws. Well an old one, but new for him. It was a huge hassle and a never ending series of unfortunate events. The first occurred about an hour and a half into the trip when I made the mistake of running into a gas station bathroom to pee and locked my phone in the car. I had a set of keys in my hand that did not open the door. Finally the owner was able to open it. Not before having a huge meltdown with the BB guy who was completely not getting the direness of the situation. On the road again, we were able to get the old car towed after being shaken down by the tow truck driver. Wee geek made money on the seats and then on the car. So he was happy and able to give money to gramma for his car, too. On the way home, 275 was a freaking parking lot and it took 2 hours to go 2 miles. We got off and ate with the BB guy bitching and whining all the way. His attitude didn’t really help. It just always seems that when it’s his kids, we can never go too far, but the tiniest things are huge inconveniences for mine. And we can never do enough for not kid. I wish I understood the driving forces behind the male penis occasionally.  I will never know, though.

So, dear reader, I will leave you with all these wonderful jumbled up thoughts.  Make of them what you will and as always, use your evil powers for good!