Thoughts from Midwest Writer’s Workshop 2010

I have a lot of thoughts swimming through my brain about this conference. It was actually reinforced by reading a throughly boring text (I mean a book, not a phone message) on how to write legal briefs all day Sunday and last night.
It seems a little odd that anything would be reinforced by this particular little piece of non-literature. But it was. It actually reinforced what they had been saying over and over again at the conference. I found the author quoting Marcus Sakey quoting someone else. That was kind of cool, actually.
Overall, the conference made me want to make rash decisions. And according to my mother-in-law’s chart of my transits (whatever they are, it’s some astrology thing), this is my year for that exactly. It’s my year to make those bold sweeping decisions that are going to affect my life in some huge sweeping way with no looking back with regret. And that, of course, is the key. No looking back in remorse or regret or any other feeling of needing to change it to be positive. The positivity has to come out of the experience be it good or bad.
So, as I’m facing these things that have to be done in the next few weeks, I’m relishing that when this is said and done, I will finally have time to…..gulp and drumroll….write. It seems like a pipedream, right now, of course, but I have faith.
I brought back an urgency to get this done. To start spitting out all of the words that I have pent up in my little brain for all 41 of these years that I’ve spent on the planet. It feels as if I’ve merely been coping for all of these years.
It was interesting to meet other writers, would-be writers, and writers who do it for a living. It was interesting to talk to everyone and process all of the different points of view. It was interesting to be liked because I have this really cool zombie novel brewing and there’s another guy out there writing one, too. It did make me realise that I do have a valid point of view, which is something I’ve been worried about. I was starting to feel as if I was just going through all the motions of having some vantage point that just wasn’t in any remote sense of the word….valid. It was a little piece of vindication.
So, as I sit here at 8 am, staring at my desk, lamenting the fact that I am staring at this desk, I know that I have a bigger purpose that I need to get moving toward.
Sometimes, in my everyday life, I forget what it’s all really about. I mean, I know that this part of things is about doing this job and making these visits and teaching these little kids, but is that what I will remember myself for? I’ve spent most of my life doing jobs that I just never felt as if they were what I was going to do for the rest of my life. Although I know that my time here at Carey has been where I needed to be at this moment of time, even after 4 years, I have doubts that it will be forever. I have forever felt pulled toward fulfilling this little piece of my destiny. But now, I am thinking that some other bigger piece is out there. And the words are all part of it.
So, real world….look at, I figured some little part of the puzzle out and I might be bragging about it for a little while!

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